I just ain't feelin' it.

So.. I'm not really sure if I like "warm fuzzy" feelings.

Y'know, cheesy things like inspirational seminary songs, or The Work and the Glory, or "Family.  Isn't it about...time?"

You have to understand that I just returned from 'The Forgotten Carols' which is a christmas musical by mormon songwriter Michael McLean.  It was a fun, enjoyable show.  However, the whole show seems to depend on giving you that "warm fuzzy" feeling.  The kind that makes you say, "aaawwwww, cuute.."

The show ended with the entire audience linking hands and singing, "We can be together forever, someday."

Now, I'm not saying that it isn't a good thing. I'm not sayin' that at all.

I just don't feel like it's for me.

I'll join in.  Heck, I'll even link hands and sway, and enjoy it with you.  I'm not against uplifting, spiritual things, of course.

But I would be alright without a lot of the "fluff".

I dunno, maybe I'm just cynical...

still here

Good Heavens!

This last week was completely hectic.  Concentrated Stress in a Can!

I gave blood on Tuesday, which I'm pretty sure was a stupid idea because I spent the next four days on my feet for Choir Dinner.  

"No strenuous lifting," they said.

Oops.

I hammered my body for those four days: lifting those bloody stands, hauling and pulling on the floor mats, building the backdrop, running around setting up risers, curtains, christmas trees, practicing and performing under the baking lights.  I would leave for school in the morning and not return home until late at night.  I was dizzy throughout the whole ordeal and I'm surprised I didn't actually pass out.  I blame it on the missing blood.

But it all went very well.  Especially the second night when Li'l Bop and I weren't completely faking large sections of the show.  We had a blast!  Thank you all so much, those of you who attended.  And a big thank you to those who helped to set it up, especially the ones who aren't even in the choir.

I'm really tired, but I thought I should post to show that I am still alive.

"Quarter to twelve, I'm feelin' fine.  When the sun comes up I'm gonna miss my friend moonshine!"

midnight bulletin

Two things tonight:

First:  You ought to check out the blog of Rex Vallis now and again.  I have a high respect for his opinions and views on various subjects, and he is one of the most well-read men I know.

Second:  Today I asked Sarah Lynne on a date.  I should have asked her a long time ago --years ago, actually.  But I'm a loser and I didn't until today.  

But I'm actually very excited to take her on a date!  I don't know what we are doing yet (Li'l Bop and some other guys have planned that), but it doesn't matter because I'm sure it will be all be fun.

...okay, a Third:  Last year during Choir Dinner a little bird flew to me and Li'l Bop and told us, "Ever since your ninth grade year we knew that you two would be the M.C.'s for Choir Dinner as seniors!"

Well, a year has past and Choir Dinner is fast approaching.  We are finally able to tell people that we will be narrating the event.  We are both excited and stressed for time.

Now you have to realize, the Bop Brothers are professionals.  They know exactly what they are doing.  Even when the Bops are winging it they do the job right.

Crockett, however, has some goofy ideas about how we should run the show.  She has given us an awful script and a deranged order of songs.  She fails to realize that the Bops are professionals.  We will be doing things our way, and she will actually enjoy it.

Needless to say, we are rewriting the script.

"BECAUSE IT IS MY NAME!"--John Proctor

I went to see The Crucible tonight with a very pretty date.  She had never seen it before so of course we had to attend a performance!  There is no other play so intense, so riveting, or so moving as The Crucible.  Needless to say, I was very glad when the cast delivered a marvelous performance.  I love it not only for entertainment value but also for its amazingly powerful themes.

Ah!  It sends shivers up my spine just thinking about it!

*If you haven't yet seen a quality production of The Crucible I strongly suggest that you attend a performance at the Playhouse Under the Library, this Friday or Saturday, 7:30 pm.

Happy 18th of November, Everyone!

18

Today I am eighteen years old.

I don't know what that means yet.    I certainly don't feel 18.

I still feel like a kid.

I always imagined I would act more mature.  feel more mature.

    Ah well...

This birthday was better than last year.  I had to work at Allen's last year.

I decided birthdays are lame anymore.

But this year I went with my family to a home canning seminar and then to dinner at Wingers.  There was some other stuff too, all good.  My birthday was all good.

Thank you mother.  Whether it sounds goofy or not,  thank you for being my mother.  To list everything you have done for me would be impossible.

Happy Birthday Mom!

a letter to my good friend

Miss B,

You marry who you date.

This is true, though it doesn't mean that by going on a single date with a person you will marry that type of person.  What it means is that by steady dating a person or by continuously dating a certain type of person you become accustomed to what they believe and comfortable with how they do things.  So the phrase should be "You marry the kind of person that you date."

Now, to marry a "flaming liberal" may be fine and dandy for certain apathetic people.  But quite obviously you should marry someone with whom you share common values, standards, and interests.

The idea that you should teach your children both sides of an issue and let them choose for themselves seems a little misguided.  While this may hold true with certain topics, like whether to attend college, or to vote for one candidate or another, or to immunize their children, it does not hold true with other issues.  Issues like tolerance for gays and gay marriage require you as a parent to teach your children right from wrong.  

Subjects like this are a lot more black and white than the world would have you believe. Homosexuality is an abomination in the sight of the Lord, plain and simple.  Satan wants you to think that free agency gives people the freedom to do those things.  He wants you to think that denying these "rights" is unconstitutional.  Satan is a master of mimicry; he takes what God creates and distorts it, but he only changes things a little bit.  He creates a grey area in order to confuse you and capture you.

There is a blessing and a curse upon this land, America.  God has created a country like no other with the most perfect government on earth.  The drafting of the Constitution was a work guided by His hand.  But over the years we have become more and more tolerant of sin and Satan has twisted the Constitution to his own purposes.  Our Constitution does not work without Christian values; neither do any of our governmental systems.  We cannot hope for continued freedom unless we teach our children to keep the commandments of God.  We cannot teach our children to keep God's commandments if husband and wife are not united in thought.

All of this talk still leaves the question unanswered.  Should you date people with differing political values?  The answer depends upon how much weight you put on certain issues.  Let's say that a particular candidate is for abortion, but at the same time the candidate is against increased federal regulation and loss of civil liberties.  One has to decide which is more important, stopping abortion or stopping Isaiah's "King of Assyria"?  Unfortunately such a candidate is fictional.  In the recent election both candidates seemed different but in reality the outcome is the same.  Obama will continue to erode civil liberties in the name of "Homeland Security", he won't be able to pull out of Iraq, and he will accelerate the socializing of our economy in order to stabilize it.  McCain will continue to erode civil liberties in the name of "Homeland Security", he will put more troops in Iraq, and he will steadily socialize our economy in order to stabilize it.  So maybe you should refrain from dating those who voted for either candidate.  I personally hope to find someone who thinks outside the bubble, someone who isn't blinded by the bright lights of mainstream media.

I could continue rambling, but I'm basically saying "Date who you want to marry."  You want to marry someone who agrees with you.  He wants a big family.  He wants to take care of you.  He exercises his priesthood in righteousness.  He is intelligent.  He is hardworking.  He is against such things as abortion and gay marriage.  He is against such things as the erosion of traditional liberties.  He is aware of the world around him and speaks up for the things he believes in.  He teaches your children the ways and commandments of God.  He teaches your sons to become men of their own.  He treats your daughters like ladies.  He likes the things you do.  He likes your sketches.  He likes to share good books with you.  He is amazed by the quilt you made.  He enjoys going on walks and hikes with you.  He loves the dinners you cook.  He wants to travel to different places with you and find cool little shops.  Etc., etc., etc.  

Miss B, I don't need to write your list, you already have one, and somewhere is a man who matches it.

I've done my best to express my opinion toward your question and I hope it will suffice.  I also hope that you take everything with a grain of salt.  Search and form your own opinion with the help of prayer and scripture study.  And remember, we only have seventeen years of experience in this world, our parents have a lot more.  Most of the time we get to the end of things and realize that they were right after all...

Your friend,

Big Bop

yep. pretty much.

It really isn't fair for girls to be as pretty as they are...

NaNoWriMo!

Phew!  I promised myself I wouldn't post on here until I had written something for NaNoWriMo.  I lack a main character, side characters, a location, and most importantly a plot.  But I have been signed up for this thing three years in a row now and still never done it.  So, despite my lack of direction and ideas, despite my mental editor, I will slap 50,000 words onto the page!

But I won't lie.  I'm bloody intimidated!

Sometimes I feel like my life should be a novel.  There are some things so strange you would swear they are from a book and have some deep symbolism.  

Take Mike and Phyllis of Yummies for example:  They are a crotchety old couple that never show any signs of affection for one another.  Their life is the custard shop.  They are always talking about custard.  They are always thinking about custard.  Except when they are thinking about Wisconsin.  They are obsessed with Wisconsin.  "In Wisconsin they did it this way." or "In Wisconsin it would be like this."

Or sometimes I feel like my car in the driveway is like a symbol in a book.  I am the main character and my car is a symbol for how life has beaten me.  I have a beautiful car, yet I ride a bicycle.  I am powerless to accept the opportunities life presents me with.

Or at least that is how you would interpret it, if it were a symbol in a book.

My friends each have a personality so unique and exciting that it simply must be fiction.  My extended family is ridiculous in so many ways that it simply can't be real.  If someone could arrange all the elements correctly, my life would make a pretty good read.

...Golding meets Steinbeck meets Spinelli.  Whoa...

Let's blow something up!

Shoot.

There was something I was going to write... I thought about it yesterday and now I can't remember.  Ah well.

My brother and I were wondering about nuclear fusion today (I'm not sure how we got on the subect) and so we googled it.  We ended up looking at Hydrogen bombs.

So heres the thing:  The bomb dropped on Hiroshima was about 20 kilotons (20,000 tons of TNT) and its mushroom cloud was about a mile and a half around.  In comparison, the first Hydrogen bomb, tested in 1952, was 5 megatons and its mushroom cloud was one hundred miles around.  It was so monstrously powerful that the measurement equipment they had was insufficient.  That's why those Japanese fishermen (along with about 250 others) got burned, because it was so much bigger than expected.  The atoll was completely vaporized and then rained back down to the earth as radioactive fall-out.

"Twenty-three nuclear tests were carried out at Bikini between 1946 and 1958.

The original natives were granted $325,000 in compensation and returned to Bikini in 1974.  But they were evacuated four years later when new tests showed high levels of residual radioactivity in the region." (BBC "On This Day")

Am I the only one who finds this completely sick?  These are scientists who have worked their whole lives with this sort of thing, they aren't stupid!  They knew the islands weren't safe before they ever sent the natives back, they didn't need four bloody years to figure that out!  They detonated 23 nukes there for heaven's sake!

Gawl, it just makes me sick to know there are people out there who conduct horrifying science experiments at the expense of human life!

And there you have it.  I wish I could remember the other thing I was going to write. 

Shoot.

Bang!

Score one for the home team.

Do you ever find yourself wondering, "Did that just happen?  Was that what I thought it was?"

Better yet, have you ever known exactly what it was?  That feeling that brings a contented smile to your face.  Inside your head you do a secret victory dance.  You've got it in the bag!

That's a good feeling...

*edit:  I suppose I should clarify by telling you I'm talking about girls here.  I'm not saying I've had this feeling recently, I'm just thinking out loud.  I don't know if this is offensive to anyone in some weird way, but if it is you can just go home because we don't want you here.

And if you don't know what I'm talking about you can go home too.

How ya been?

Today I picked up a solar panel from the roadside.  Technically it doesn't belong to me but I'm going to keep it.  It powers a few LED lights.  I think it would be fun to alter it so that it powers...something cool. I dunno what, but something..

I've been reading Golding's Lord of the Flies.  I have hardly been able to put it down because at each turn of a page I expect them to start tearing into each other.  It is a twisted, gripping little book.

I also framed a picture today.  I covered an old wooden frame with a whole bunch of coins from my collection.  France, Germany, Argentina, Dutch Antilles, Barbados, Seychelles, South Africa, Isreal, Jordan, China, Thailand, Italy, Turkey, Malaysia.  They come from everywhere and in all shapes and sizes: square ones, wavy-edged ones,  big fat ones, heavy ones, wafer-thin ones.  

I didn't put a single Euro on the frame.

Each coin on the frame is its own sovereign nation.  A nation which governs its own land.  A nation with the responsibility of caring for its own people.

I didn't put a single Euro on the frame because I feel that it represents a break-down of that system.  An undermining of nationalism.  Unifying national governments into continental governments like the European Union or the American Union consolidates too much power into too few hands.  It distances the governing body from the people.  Such power inevitably falls into the wrong hands.

I didn't put a single Euro on the frame.

Yesterday we tried to cook our meal in a solar oven.  We failed because we didn't actually put much planning into the oven's construction.  But it was the idea of the thing!  I don't know about the rest of the family but I found the whole thing really interesting.  Of course I have heard of solar ovens before but I didn't think they were so practical and...possible!  Did you know you can boil water in the dead of Utah's winter in relatively no time at all?

It will be really fun to learn how to construct an efficient oven which is large enough to cook for our entire family.

Gawl, I just have so much to write about tonight!

I received a brochure from Deep Springs College.  It is a college in the Middle-of-Nowhere, California and it is the coolest college I have ever heard of.  The student body consists of twenty-six men (no women).  The students make all decisions in the management of the college including admittance of new applicants, hiring and firing of staff, and courses taught.

The campus is home to 300 head of cattle, goats, chickens, geese, sheep, milk cows, an alfalfa farm, and a large garden.  All students participate in in maintaining and running the ranch.  Everyone takes turns at different duties, feed man, dairy boy, butcher, baker, cook, labor crew, etc.  Tuition is free for all accepted applicants.  There are two set-in-stone rules: no alcohol or drugs, and no leaving the valley during the term.

Oh, I can hardly tell you how cool this place looks!  Check out their site here!

Alright, I will end here because it is late and my laptop is starting to overheat...

Jus' talkin' t'mahself...

Two things:

1) I talk like a durn cricker.

2) I have a fairly negative vocabulary.

The cricker thing I'm not so worried about.  It is part of who I am.  And it is a little bit fun to talk like a hick sometimes, even if I sound unintelligent.

The negative vocabulary though...

I curse.  A lot.  and I'm not only talking about horrible cuss words, I'm also talking about little things like suck and friggin', etc.  I suppose small ones like that never bothered me before, but lately I cringe a little every time I let one slip.

I need to stop.  But it is very difficult because, like cricker-talk, it has become part of who I am.  A bad part of who I am.  So if I'm ever with you and I say something that offends your ears, go ahead and slug me, will ya?  Honestly.

Educational Sleep Deprivation

I could go to bed right now and probably wake up tired, or I could read a book after posting this and still wake up tired.

The former choice is of course the healthier one...

I think I'll take the latter.

Sometimes I hate that I don't know enough to hold my own in an argument.  Today during my free period we all got into a heated (yet well mannered) debate.  We ranged over a few topics, the usual: Presidential Election, Wall Street Bail-out, War in Iraq, etc.  While I feel that I made some decent points, I also feel that if I were more well read, more geographically literate, more culturally aware then I could refute the stupid arguments that some people were making.

So that is why I choose the latter.  That's why I am going to read a book until 3 o' clock in the morning.

(And hopefully the sleep deprivation won't have lasting damage on my brain...)

One of those friends

Okay, I promise I wasn't slackin' off on posting.  I've been trying to get on to write something but it's just been so crazy-busy this past week that I couldn't afford the time.  So, even though it is 1 o' clock in the morning and I'm freaking exhausted, I'm forcing myself to post.  And to make it a good one.

Have you ever had one of those friends that you can talk about anything with?  I mean anything.  You can have the deepest conversations about 'why are we here' or 'where are we going'.  You can have heated debates about major world issues or best pizza toppings.  You can laugh at ridiculous people or laugh at your ridiculous selves.  You can go for hours delving into the hidden meanings of a literary work or you can make up crazy ditties from Dr. Suess books.

You know the kind of friend I'm talking about.  Be they girl or boy, young or old.  You can say anything you want when your with that person.  They won't look at you funny for it, or think less of you for it, because they understand.

You have too much dirt on them just like they have too much dirt on you.

Have you ever lost one of those friends?  Just like that, lost them.

One day it occurs to you that you things aren't the same between the both of you anymore.  And maybe sometimes you don't care.  Maybe you think, 'Well, such is life.  Things change and you move on.'  But maybe other times you can't quite figure out what went wrong.  You want to fix it.  Really bad, you want to fix it.  But you don't know what went wrong.

So you have to force yourself to think, 'Well, such is life.  Things change and you move on.'

And I'm not talking about marriage here, so all y'all with spouses can just hush yer melons!  I can almost hear you right now saying 'Why yes, I had one of those friends, she became my wife.'  Well, way to go!  Bonus points for you!

I s'pose losing one of those friends doesn't happen to adults much...

Baby it's cold outside!

I am hating this cold weather.  I can stand the cold, but I can't stand riding a bicycle in the cold.  I've done it for two bloody years now and I don't think I can do it again.

When you ride a bike in the winter it doesn't matter how well you bundle up, because when you arrive at your destination all of your extremities will have frostbite and all of your not-extremities will be very hot and sweating.  It's really dumb.

I could enjoy the weather so much more if I could get that lawn ornament running ('68 Buick Special Deluxe!), but alas I have hit a few speedbumps and run out of funds (yet again).

You don't happen to know anyone with an old Rochester carburetor, do you?

Stifling Silence

I hate when I don't know what to talk about.

I just don't know what to say.  I sit there and search for conversation topics in my head until I suddenly realize that I haven't said anything!

There are two kinds of silence.  There are comfortable silences and then there are the silences that you can feel, their presence is stifling.  You just want to say something, anything to end it, but you can't think of anything.  So you mumble something lame about the song on the radio, or the billboard you just passed, or maybe you just laugh at the awful predicament you are in.  And the person you are with makes a response.  Dispels the silence.  But when they're done you find yourself searching for conversation topics....

That happened to me a couple times tonight.  I feel lame.

But I did have fun!  I hitched a ride up to the Tabernacle to watch my friends perform in All-State Choir.  They were amazing.  Their conductor had chosen some really cool pieces (Whitacre's "Cloudburst"!) and they were so precise, their blend was superb, and their energy was fantastic!

I am supremely jealous.

Gah!  I hate being a mooch!  I hate being socially inept!  I hate seeing all of the night's stupid moments replayed in my head!

[insert creative title here]

So my mother's cousin gave us this huge load of firewood, right?  Well my mother bought an axe so that we can split it up.  Unfortunately, she decided that because this axe is hers she is going to be the first one to use it.  She hasn't yet.  Sometimes I get home from a lame day at school and I want to go out and vent, but I can't because it's her axe.

-That Faraway Place-

There is a place far away

and it is beautiful.

The sun rests there, just so, and laughs a little

and the gold from it cascades

to the meadow below

where grows the softest grass,

rising and falling.

And the brook that runs through it is lively

it burbles and chatters

sometimes rushing and tripping over stones

and other times it catches in pools

where it sleeps under the warm sun,

in perfect contentment.

Through the whispering trees flit songbirds.

They are a pretty little chorus

and now and again one voice will lift above the others

in an exultant and joyous melody

now sailing high in the air

now moving to such a sorrowful tune,

low and lilting.

Beautiful.

It is all beautiful.

And alone in that place you can be happy

In that faraway place.

Now I'm going to go and bug my mother about that axe....

"Fascist America, in 10 easy steps"

Hmm... I'm having a hard time deciding whether or not I should use this blog to talk about all the stuff that is wrong in the world (regarding loss of civil liberties, undermining of nationalism, etc.).  I think I may start up another blog specifically for that purpose.  For now I'll just touch on it briefly.

The Bush administration has more or less completed all 10 steps toward fascism. (As discussed by Naomi Wolfe here, or more in-depth in a video called "The End of America" which can be found here, or even more in-depth in her book The End of America).

The ten steps are as follows:

1. Invoke a terrifying internal and external enemy- Can you hear the word "terrorist" echoing in your head?  Just what is a terrorist anyways?  It is a very loose term and the definition seems to keep expanding.  And while we're at it, how can you win a war on terror? (hint: you can't, it lasts as long as you want it to)

2. Create a gulag- Basically a prison that is above the law.  It allows you to incarcerate anyone you want for any amount of time and do anything you want to them.  Think Guantanamo Bay and CIA "black site" prisons.

3. Develop a thug caste- Blackwater and other private armies are officially immune from the law.  They answer to no one.  So? So, recently a boatload of Blackwater troops were re-stationed to Colorado. What are they doing there?  Training with tasers and tear gas and rubber bullets.  Hmm...what on earth would they need that for...

4. Set up an internal surveillance system- You know those cameras on all the stoplights?  Well the Department of Homeland Security recently announced that they aren't for traffic regulation after all.  Instead they are connected to a facial-recognition database to help catch "terrorists".

5. Harass citizens' groups- Through a little-known law, activist groups --whether they be anti-war, environmental, or even animal-rights-- are now labeled as "potential terrorist threats".

6. Engage in arbitrary detention and release- More or less a list of dissidents and activist to watch.  Arrest 'em if they try to board a plane, search 'em, release 'em.  Detain anti-war marchers, or college professors that write books about the Constitution, harass them with criminal charges then drop the charges and release them. Rinse. Repeat.

7. Target key individuals- Is that District Attorney getting a little out of hand?  Pull some political strings and get him fired.  Senators, artists, writers, academics, civil servants, lawyers, doctors, anyone who starts talking too loudly.

8. Control the press- But this is America, we have free press!  Actually, no.  At the Republican Convention any reporters filming police brutality towards protesters were arrested and their equipment destroyed.  One reporter was able to slip away and bury his camera before being arrested.  He came back for it after he was finally released.  (Bury his camera!  It's like the bloody Soviet Union!)

9. Dissension equals treason- Get it into the minds of the people that speaking out in any way will get you in big trouble.  Anyone can be declared a "terrorist".  This makes people scared to make waves.

10. Suspend the rule of law- The President now has the power to use the militia of any state in any way he chooses (e.g. as a "domestic police force" under martial law).  Among other things...

This list, while lengthy, actually only touches on a few of the many civil liberties we have lost in recent years.  There is so much stuff that most people don't even know about.  So educate yourself and spread the word, do your best to tell everyone- friends, family, total strangers- it doesn't matter if you make a fool of yourself.  Aren't your civil liberties worth it?  Aren't your God-given Constitutional rights worth it?

Now go click on those links up there!

Heaven and Hell

Idaho was great.  It was a nice visit.  I  got to see some of the my father's tile work and I was really impressed.  His work is spectacular and he has a great eye for detail.

Oh, and we went to a home, the Vest cabin, and it was the closest thing to Heaven I have ever seen.  The building itself was of reclaimed timbers from the 1830's!  It had a big porch with a copper roof and copper window frames.  It sat next to the river on a huge spread of land.  The leaves of the trees were turning and the sky was filled with rainclouds (the kind that shoot shafts of sunlight down to the earth).  There was nothing else, just the beautiful cabin on the river surrounded by fields of grass, and golden trees, and golden sky.

That's how I imagine Heaven..

On a less happy note:

I sure hope that the end is nigh, because if all this crap is happening for nothing then-- well, it would just suck!!  

It's all quite frightening really, and I don't mean the stupid stuff on Wall Street, I mean the fact that Gadianton Robbers have completely taken control and NOBODY notices!  It's all so blatantly obvious, you don't need to go searching to see, all you have to do is wake up!  But nobody does...

So, it is all very frightening.  What keeps me optimistic is the hope that perhaps this is finally it!  Perhaps all of the prophecies of old are finally coming together!

I really hope so.  I don't want to grow up and try to figure out how to raise a family in a fascist world...a world that more and more seems to resemble Hell..

*The things I write on here are often disjointed or make little sense.  But too bad for you because it's not going to change!  Ha Ha!

Vroooom!

So tomorrow I head North to the spectacular faraway country of....Idaho!  Huzzah Potatoes! 

Actually, I really am excited.  We're going up to visit my father which doesn't happen often because gas is so expensive.  It will be a short trip but a good trip.

I'm looking forward to the drive too.  I find being behind the wheel quite comfortable, not in a physical sense but in a ...different sense.  I don't know what word I'm looking for but I enjoy the hours and the miles more when I am driving.

You know what I hate?  OSHA.  I did finish carpentry one summer with my uncle, and even though I was awful I enjoyed it.  So I decided this year I was going to take the Woodshop class at school...

IT IS RIDICULOUS!

I've used every tool in there a million times, and yet I have to learn the "proper procedure" for each one of them.  "Curl your fingers under when using the planer."  "Always wear your safety glasses when applying wood glue."  "Don't turn the machine on until the Instructor has approved your set up."  "No, don't place your hand there, hold it like this instead"  "Don't stand over there, this 12-inch board might slip and impale you."  And on and on and on...

I'm okay with rules --actually that's not true, I hate them, but I understand why most of them exist.  I understand that the teacher has a lot of morons in his class that need to be protected from their own stupidity.

What I don't understand is why teachers refuse to recognize smart kids.  Just normal kids with common sense.  If my woodshop teacher would do that I could already be finished with several projects.  But no, I'm a minor.  My opinion doesn't count.  I don't know what I'm talking about.  I don't know where I'm going in life.  I don't know what I'm doing.  I'm not allowed to make my own plans without my mommy giving permission.  I'm not allowed to decide for myself whether something is wasting my time or not.  And I'm certainly not allowed to cut a little stick without ALL of the guards down, my safety goggles on, a thirty foot perimeter, a kevlar vest, at least two supervisors, and following the "proper procedure".

Maybe I'm making no sense.  It is quite late and I have to drive tomorrow morning.  G'night.

Soy un perdedor..

I'm a loser baby, so why don'tcha kill me?

It's true. I am very much lame.  I stayed home from school these last two days for absolutely no reason.  I feel... bleh...

The other day I wrote a "J" on my hand to remind me to do something.  Unfortunately I can't remember what it meant.  I hate when I do that.

So, I've been looking at the plans for, and information about a new city library.  Here are the facts:

• Our library currently has 8,000 sq. feet and contains 77,000 volumes
• The new library would be 40,000 sq. feet and cost $14,000,000 (9.8 million would be payed for through a bond, meaning increased property taxes)
• Currently the court occupies 900 sq. feet and administrative facilities occupy 11,000 sq. feet.  These will both be moved to the new Civic Center when completed.
• The new Firestation will cost  between 2.5 and 3.5 million dollars
• The new Civic Center will cost between 15 and 18.5 million dollars
• That's a bloody lot of money that Springville doesn't have
  

It seems to me that building a library we can't afford isn't so smart.  It also seems to me that we need more library space.  But guess what!  Once our new Civic Center is complete we will have 12,000 sq. feet of unused space!

So, for a fraction of the cost of a new library building we could instead renovate the existing building.  This would give us space for about 200,000 volumes, putting us up to there with Provo, Orem, and American Fork.  This would also allow for offices, study rooms, meeting rooms, etc.

Yes, I know, Springville grows fast.  The plans for a new library building provide for about 10 to 20 years of growth.  While renovating the existing building would only allow for about half of that growth it would provide us with a few years to repay the cost of the Civic Center and Fire Station.  When we are finally in a situation that makes a new building feasible and needed then we should consider floating a multi-million dollar bond.  Until then we should "use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without."

Mr. Darcy

I just finished watching "Pride and Prejudice", the one with Colin Firth. The reeeeeally long one.  I survived and --putting my manly ego aside-- enjoyed it.  But I have this to say about it:

I don't get it.

I don't understand what every single female finds attractive in Mr. Darcy.  He's a rude, socially inept man who doesn't smile once in the entire film except on his wedding day.  I know, of course, that his curt arrogance disappears once you get to know him better.  But even when he acts like a normal human he really isn't very exciting.

Oh dear!  This sounds so ridiculous, coming from a man!

I suppose that the only way for me to get a complete idea of what makes girls so excited for Darcy would be to watch all of the films and read the book.  Unfortunately this requires more effort than I am willing to make.  After all, a guy can only take so much "Austen" at a time!

Allow me to clarify that I have no interest in becoming like Mr. Darcy or picking up any ideas from him.  I am merely curious as to why girls rank him up there with the Disney Princes, Edward Cullen, and Mr. Knightley...

Hey guess what!  Tomorrow evening I'm going to one of Avraham Gileadi's firesides!   He will be giving a lecture on the biblical history of the Isrealites and how it is a type and likeness of our day.  It should be really good.  I'll take notes so I can tell you all about it if you ask me.

....

I have nothing more to say tonight

Where I want to be

There are times when I just don't know where I want to be.

Like now.  There are times when you say, "I want to go home." or, "I wish I were with my friends."  But right now.. I don't know where I want to be.

Perhaps a mountain, in the cool of the pines, a sliver of blue sky showing between towering peaks.  Perhaps, driving, zipping down the road, fast, headed anywhere or nowhere.  Perhaps up in a tree, with a book.  I don't know.

Well!  Anyways, I went on a date last night.  A double date with my best friend Li'l Bop.  It was a lot of fun!  We went to see 'My Fair Lady' and snagged some cheap food on the way home.  A nice success, if I do say so myself, I hope the young ladies would agree.  I thought it was particularly nice because I was finally able to get an official date with a certain girl.  Jolly good!

I'm not sure whether I should use people's names and such.  I don't know how other people feel about having their information plastered across the internet, so for now I'll just use nicknames and pronouns.

Mexican Hat!

"Choose a template and a title" says the screen.  So I did.  Voila! a blog!

Now I can waste more time on the computer than ever before!  Although, I'm not sure what I want to do with this thing just yet...

The title up there? It's from a Gaelic Storm song.  Long ago the First Ward Mafia decided it was my theme song because I have a talent for staying up late into the night.

Sleep. I should do that sometimes.  But I don't.  

There's just something different about the night.  The rest of the world has gone to bed.  

You feel as though it's all yours.

The Earth. The sky. The Grass and the Mountains.

All is good and simple under the vast expanse of stars.

It doesn't matter if the day isn't right

because there in your own world none of it matters.

It's yours.

Everything is going to work out just fine.

Ironically though, I find the dawn even more spectacular..