Okay, this is a bit of understatement
but sometimes I really don't understand God.
He shows you something that seems to say, "Look, this is good. This is what you want. You aren't searching in vain."
But then..
He says, "Ha! gotcha! You thought you had something good. You thought that everything was just the way you dreamed. But you were wrong. Try again."
What am I supposed to learn from that?
I know you're probably wondering what I'm talking about, but I'm afraid to be too explicit here. Endure my ambiguity please. It's just frustrating and discouraging when you do everything correctly but your work is all for naught. It's alright when there is a lesson to be learned, but what about the times when you can't find the lesson? What are you supposed to learn then?
And what if it isn't a failed venture? What if you could fix things with a little extra work?
And if that were the case then how would you know it?
. . . .
. . . .
I'm annoyed and frustrated at my indecision.
(P.S. God doesn't speak in American vernacular)
14 comments:
Sounds like the paradoxes of my mind.
For some reason I continually will hold two contradicting ideas about deity in my mind accepting and rejecting them both in one huge mess of thought.
Then I end up debating myself for hours.
You're not alone.
I noticed that you've decided for God what languages God speaks.. that's interesting. :)
Oh I have felt this way MANY times. And, I don't know exactly what your situation was, or really anything for that matter. However, in my life it seems that there isn't necessarily a particular lesson to be learned. Sometimes God tests and stretches us just to be tested and stretched. It doesn't seem fair at all, but you just have to endure believing there was a purpose for it and maybe eventually you'll understand.
I know it is never that easy, I hope that things turn up for you.
I think it's silly trying to understand God, our minds aren't big enough. And you are not alone in not understanding all the time what he wants you to learn, but as long as we trust in him and try our best to follow where he leads we can't go wrong. We may not understand what we're supposed to learn today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year or even next century, but we will understand one day. That's the beauty of it! If we always understood everything we wouldn't need faith.
Keep plugging away! And don't get too discouraged, it'll all be ok in the end, if it's not ok it's not the end.
Oh... and God can speak in American vernacular as you state it, but he doesn't :) And it's for our good. He has to let us screw up sometimes.
Thank you all. Some of you seem to think that by posting this I might be questioning my understanding of God or where my purpose lies in the vast scheme of things. But you are wrong, which is understandable because of my vagueness.
In this post I am merely questioning a particular incident. I am not discouraged.
Also, yes it is *possible* for God to speak in the American vernacular ( He can do anything, He is God). But He doesn't. God speaks what we know as the Adamic language. I didn't decide that, He did.
I LOVE it when you wax philosophic in ambiguous terms. Then I get all worried about you and I don't even know what I'm worrying about you FOR or whether it's even WORTH worrying about. It's my favorite!
...In case you were wondering, yes, that was sarcasm. But I suppose I deserve it. Not that I ever wax philosophic in ambiguous terms. Ever.
Isn't it possible that God isn't directing whatever is happening and it's just a natural outcome of many decisions made by many people (or even just you)? Not every enigma is a lesson from God -- sometimes it's just part of life. Mabye you are over thinking things.
Logan, I've decided that I don't see you nearly enough. But we are going to have lots of fun on choir tour. This year, you better be on my bus. :)
Everyone has taken what I wanted to say. I wish I could understand more of what you mean, the ambiguity is slightly misleading, but I've decided, and I'm absolutely positive about one thing. Everyone gets a happily ever after. This might not be what you want, but I'm sure of this. Right now you might be stuck alone in the middle of the forest, or fighting an enormous dragon, but absolutely every story ends in happily ever after. Every one. Think about that.
Me Right Now,
Thanks for posting, but I'd like to know who you are.
And I understand what you are saying. I'm not one of those "everything happens for a reason" people that thinks absolutely everything is pre-planned by God.
Taylor,
I know! I hardly ever see you! But tour will be great, and I think Eric is in charge of bus seating, so our bus will be the best!
Logan-
I know you'll figure whatever it is causing you grief, though none of us much know what is going on. I wish you the best of luck!
Krystal-
I am very much impressed by you. I don't know if you recall, but I was in your Early Morning Seminary class with Brother Laing two years ago. I recal being very impressed with you then as well.
Thank you for your comment. You hit the nail right on the head, and I couldn't have said it better.
Taylor-
I agree with you as well, cutie! Sometimes I wonder where the Lord is going with something, why I have to stuggle with issues that I re-hash again and again. Or a particular trial or challenge that had managed to catch me off guard.
But then I remember that because He loves me, He would not have me go through something that I could not handle with His help.
And because He loves His children, there will always be a happy ending, as long as we are willing walk with Him and find it! :)
"What the [expletive], Saralyn? Did you actually read the blogpost? Or did you just use it as an excuse to fill up space with your overly verbose "wisdom"?
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