Monday, November 10, 2008

a letter to my good friend

Miss B,
You marry who you date.

This is true, though it doesn't mean that by going on a single date with a person you will marry that type of person.  What it means is that by steady dating a person or by continuously dating a certain type of person you become accustomed to what they believe and comfortable with how they do things.  So the phrase should be "You marry the kind of person that you date."

Now, to marry a "flaming liberal" may be fine and dandy for certain apathetic people.  But quite obviously you should marry someone with whom you share common values, standards, and interests.

The idea that you should teach your children both sides of an issue and let them choose for themselves seems a little misguided.  While this may hold true with certain topics, like whether to attend college, or to vote for one candidate or another, or to immunize their children, it does not hold true with other issues.  Issues like tolerance for gays and gay marriage require you as a parent to teach your children right from wrong.  

Subjects like this are a lot more black and white than the world would have you believe. Homosexuality is an abomination in the sight of the Lord, plain and simple.  Satan wants you to think that free agency gives people the freedom to do those things.  He wants you to think that denying these "rights" is unconstitutional.  Satan is a master of mimicry; he takes what God creates and distorts it, but he only changes things a little bit.  He creates a grey area in order to confuse you and capture you.

There is a blessing and a curse upon this land, America.  God has created a country like no other with the most perfect government on earth.  The drafting of the Constitution was a work guided by His hand.  But over the years we have become more and more tolerant of sin and Satan has twisted the Constitution to his own purposes.  Our Constitution does not work without Christian values; neither do any of our governmental systems.  We cannot hope for continued freedom unless we teach our children to keep the commandments of God.  We cannot teach our children to keep God's commandments if husband and wife are not united in thought.

All of this talk still leaves the question unanswered.  Should you date people with differing political values?  The answer depends upon how much weight you put on certain issues.  Let's say that a particular candidate is for abortion, but at the same time the candidate is against increased federal regulation and loss of civil liberties.  One has to decide which is more important, stopping abortion or stopping Isaiah's "King of Assyria"?  Unfortunately such a candidate is fictional.  In the recent election both candidates seemed different but in reality the outcome is the same.  Obama will continue to erode civil liberties in the name of "Homeland Security", he won't be able to pull out of Iraq, and he will accelerate the socializing of our economy in order to stabilize it.  McCain will continue to erode civil liberties in the name of "Homeland Security", he will put more troops in Iraq, and he will steadily socialize our economy in order to stabilize it.  So maybe you should refrain from dating those who voted for either candidate.  I personally hope to find someone who thinks outside the bubble, someone who isn't blinded by the bright lights of mainstream media.

I could continue rambling, but I'm basically saying "Date who you want to marry."  You want to marry someone who agrees with you.  He wants a big family.  He wants to take care of you.  He exercises his priesthood in righteousness.  He is intelligent.  He is hardworking.  He is against such things as abortion and gay marriage.  He is against such things as the erosion of traditional liberties.  He is aware of the world around him and speaks up for the things he believes in.  He teaches your children the ways and commandments of God.  He teaches your sons to become men of their own.  He treats your daughters like ladies.  He likes the things you do.  He likes your sketches.  He likes to share good books with you.  He is amazed by the quilt you made.  He enjoys going on walks and hikes with you.  He loves the dinners you cook.  He wants to travel to different places with you and find cool little shops.  Etc., etc., etc.  

Miss B, I don't need to write your list, you already have one, and somewhere is a man who matches it.

I've done my best to express my opinion toward your question and I hope it will suffice.  I also hope that you take everything with a grain of salt.  Search and form your own opinion with the help of prayer and scripture study.  And remember, we only have seventeen years of experience in this world, our parents have a lot more.  Most of the time we get to the end of things and realize that they were right after all...

Your friend,
Big Bop

4 comments:

A said...

:D

you are a VERY smart boy.

Eric Evans said...

Right on the money Bop.

Haley said...

...
I have a problem with vacillating on this issue. Going back and forth. But 'how long can (I) halt between two opinions?'

I know that it would not be so much of a problem were there not 'attachments' involved, but there are; thus, it is.

Arg. Maybe I should write a better response on my own blog instead of clogging up yours. Yup, I think that's what I'll do.

And since is IS after midnight, I'd best do it sometime tomorrow or the next day when I can think with more clarity.

For now, just, thank you. A million times over. I may be struggling with this right now, but I am never ever going to forget what amazing friends I have that really try to help me figure things out. In the end, it is my decision, but it's so nice to have help along the way!

Rex Vallis said...

You're right on, and I'm proud to be Uncle to such a deep, committed thinker.

Haley, you're also very lucky to have a friend who cares so much to speak so openly about what is right and wrong. Yes, in the end, it is your decision, but in the realm of free agency, making the wrong decision severely limits our future decision-making spectrum. When the choice is clear, just don't make the wrong decision in the first place, even if there are 'attachments' involved.

How's that for some 'unsolicited' advice? Take it for what it's worth. I agree with Bop's perspective - at 17, you don't have the big picture perspective that you do at, say, 35 :)